Book One: Avtandil's Quest (CH 31)
Words and Their Weight
“I held the letter a moment before opening it, weighing what was said without words. None of the adornment or formality traditionally accorded between equals was included on or about the paper. Worse, he used plain parchment with no seal. His lack of decorum clearly conveyed an intent to insult. I wondered long at the arrogance and ignorance of such a man.”
“After a time, I opened his message, which read, ‘I am Ramaz, King of Khataeti. This letter is for you, Tariel, who oversteps himself. Who are you to dare summon me? I am Lord and ruler of many people, and you are barely more than a child! I will hear no more of your words nor look on anything else you send.’”
“At first, I could not believe what he wrote. My message was firm but delivered with diplomacy and tact. More, one so powerful as Pharsidan does not beg the attendance of those who owe tribute. He commands it. To refuse this summons while also being disrespectful marked Ramaz as a fool. For his insults, my hand would be compelled to educate him.
“I stood then, setting his letter aside, and called my Generals to me. They sent orders to the Lords of the frontiers and more within the borders of India. Over the next weeks, commanders and their Knights arrived from near and far, numbering more than the stars in Heaven. Soon, soldiers covered the plains around my fortress Kingdom.”
“It pleased me to see how swiftly the armies came when I called. In all my time as Amirbar, there had been no cause for me to call on the combined might of all seven Kingdoms into one place. Yet now they were before me, a testament to our might.”
“Pride filled me at the way they presented themselves. Each man stood alert, forming perfect squadrons. They wore the finest Khwarazmian armor, forged in Guldursun-Kala and tempered in water from the Aral Sea. Every one of them was worthy of song, and we would soon be about the business of songs.”
“Standing before them, I raised the royal standard, a flag of red and black. It unfurled to its full glory on the wind, and the countless hosts of my warriors cheered. Then, I gave the order to depart for the Kingdom of Khataeti at first light while silently mourning my plight at Fate’s evil hand. How would I lead an army without seeing my beloved sun before departing? The long campaign I had yet to embark on yawned wide like a bottomless chasm, and I was bereft of soul.”
“Not knowing what else to do, I retired to my chambers and collapsed on the sofa. Sorrow had already defeated me before the first day of war, and I could not stop my sadness. I said to myself, ‘Fate rules with a fickle hand. I find no luck or succor from the bite of her blade. Why did she allow me to lay my hand on the rose if I cannot take it?’”
“I sat like this until a young servant came bearing a gift. I was in no mood to receive presents, yet it is rarely the right of those who rule to turn away gifts. I welcomed the youth into my room, surprised when he delivered the most wonderful thing. It was a letter from Asmath. She wrote. ‘The sun you long for calls to you. Come! Is it not better to be with her than weep and moan at the deed of Fate?’”
“Her words sang the truth, and I was unable to deny them. Though twilight tugged at the blanket of night, I quickly prepared myself and made little time of the distance between us. Soon I arrived at the palace where my nightingale dwelled. Asmath met me when I entered the garden gates, smiling as she said, ‘Enter, oh Lion of India. The moon awaits you.’”
“As before, she parted the golden curtain which separated me from my heart’s desire. I went in, but the riches did not catch my eye. My sole intent was on seeing the woman who summoned me.”
“I climbed up every flight of stairs until I reached the terrace. Nestan sat there, bathed in the light of the full moon, and surrounded by shimmering curtains. Though she wore priceless green silks, they meant nothing to my eyes. The wonder of her form drew me in, for she alone in the entirety of the world held majesty for me.”
“I came boldly into her room and walked to the edge of the carpet where she sat on cushions brocaded in gems. I had not seen her face yet, but the fires within me lessened at being in her presence. As I waited, she lifted her head. Our eyes met for the briefest of moments, and my world shrank to the depths of her jet eyes.”
“She looked down and commanded Asmath, ‘Beg our Amirbar to be seated!’ At these words, I sat opposite her and gave myself up to joy, forgetting how Fate abused me earlier. Even now, it surprises me I am able to tell you this story while still drawing breath.”
“Soon, Nestan spoke again, saying, ‘I am aware my silence hurt you the last time we met, though I did not intend to wither you like a flower in the field. I left you doomed to shed water from the narcissus pool of your eyes, but you must understand my reasons. Reservation and bashfulness are necessary towards the Amirbar, and it is to the benefit of a woman to be modest when speaking with a powerful man.”
“‘Yet, I found it worse to be silent and hide the woe of my heart. Though I smiled outwardly, a secret grief gripped me. The message I gave Asmath was true. It pained me to refuse speech, as there were many things I wanted to say. I am sure you appreciate my discretion, for it is the better part of valor, but I did not wish to cause you pain. Now you know why I did not speak when I sat with you before, but this meeting will be different. Tonight, I will bare my soul to you, and I ask you to know me by these vows and oaths. Should I deceive you, may God return me to the earth. More, if I break my promises, I renounce my place in the Nine Heavens.’”
“‘When we are done speaking, you must go forth and attack the Khatavians. Gift those traitors the war they invited, for you are Amirbar. This is your duty. I pray you will come back to me joyous and victorious over our enemies, but what of me? What will I do until I can look at you again? How will I keep myself quiet in your absence? I don’t want to be left in waiting. Instead, give your heart to me, undivided and forever, and take mine for yourself in its place. Otherwise, I will perish if separated from you.’”
“Unable to believe the words she spoke, I told her, ‘This is an unexpected grace from God. No man deserves what you have found me worthy of. The light of your sun fills my darkness, and I glow with your love. I swear to you, I will be yours until the ground reaches up to embrace me and earth covers my face.’”
“We both swore on the Koran, confirming our devotion to one another. When we finished, she said, ‘From this day forward, no other will grace my eyes, nor will their words reach my ears. There is only you, and I am yours.’”
“We stayed together after speaking, sharing fruit, and talking of the many things we would do when I returned. Each of us enjoyed the company of the other until it was time for me to depart. We shed tears for one another over the time we would be separated, vowing to meet again on my return. My heart glowed like a star when I rose to leave, illuminated by her rays.”
“Though it pained and irritated me to be far from the crystal and ruby of her beauty, she renewed my will to live. However, a war still darkened the road before me, in which I must be victorious. She who I desired most in all the world would not truly be mine until I settled the matter of King Ramaz and the Khatavians.”