Book One: Avtandil's Quest (CH 29)
The Mysterious Maiden
“I still did not know who this bold maiden was or why she came to me and spoke the way she did. Then, as I took the letter from her hands, understanding hit me like a strike of lightning. What she gave me was from the woman who consumed my heart. I could not believe I held such a gift from God, and I slowly opened it with shaking hands.”
“Nestan, my sunbeam, wrote to me, saying, ‘Oh lion, do not let your wound appear! I am yours, so why do you die? I despise vain fainting. When you finish reading my words, Asmath will tell you all I would say, but I must ask, what love do you think pitiful falling and dying is?’”
“‘Is it not better for you to show deeds of heroism to your beloved? I desired to be your wife long before today, but there was no opportunity to speak with you until now. When I saw you sitting on a litter, deprived of reason, and raving like a madman, I understood you shared my heart’s desire. It was your love of me which struck you down.’”
“‘But this is not the way of a hero. You should bring honor and glory to India rather than the tear-stained pity you have presented thus far. I am sure you realize the Kingdom of Khataeti owes tribute, yet they show ill will towards us. This cannot be tolerated, least not by you, Amirbar.’”
“‘Go to the Khatavians and teach them the manner they should behave. Make battle with them, and in doing this, you will become the hero I wish to look upon. Truthfully, I tell you, this way is better. Why moisten the rose of your cheeks when the sky can do no more than you have done to yourself? Do not weep idly, for I turned your darkness to dawn with only a word. Now it remains for you to turn my dawn into day, so the light of India’s glory might shine on us both.’”
“In that moment, I fully understood how boldly Asmath had spoken to me. I realized she was not a timid woman. Instead, her grace and devotion to Nestan compelled her. Of me, how can I tell you of my joy at the hope her tidings gave me? I feared my heart might fail me, for it beat with such intensity my head spun. The crystal of my face and cheeks lit with flame again and shone like the finest cut rubies.”
“I looked at the letter for a long time before I answered, writing shortly, ‘Oh moon of my soul, there is no heavenly body which can surpass you. Indeed, the sun must dim in your presence. May God never give me anything to compare with you. I feel such joy, as if in a dream, though it is difficult to believe I still live and read these words.’”
“There was nothing else for me to write. My earlier suffering had emptied the spring of my spirit, yet now a torrent of emotion welled up from me. The intensity of it left me unable to contain or direct what I wanted to say. I told Asmath, ‘Hear me maiden, for what I would say flees my grasp. I can give no more answer than this. My reason is washed away. How can a man find sustenance in a field at once ruined by drought and renewed with the monsoons?’”
“Yet she carried more wisdom than me, which is why she is here now. She is my only counsel in the ruin I occupy, and her words are fit for Kings. She bade me write more to my beloved, and I continued, ‘Oh sun of my life. You arise as a light to me. With only this letter, I am revived. Where before I appeared to die, I will faint no more. Instead, I will be at your service. None upon this earth will stand against me in this. Whatever you ask of me, it will be done. Truly I am a liar if I turn away from any task you set before me.’”
“After this, Asmath told me, ‘Now you must do as I say, for this is the command of she for whom you burn. If you follow these words, no one will discover the secret of your love until you reveal it. Come to her palace as though visiting me as my lover. In this way, none will suspect the Amirbar of behavior unfitting his station. You will not ruin yourself, or the woman who holds you captive.’”
“It was wonderful to see such wisdom revealed from Nestan. This brilliant woman who the sun dared not gaze too long on had an intellect becoming a Queen. She was incredible and now opened her home to me. I would sit next to her, whose radiance caused sunlight to seem like shadows, and be blessed with her refined conversation. What can I say to you of this? My desire revealed itself to me in my darkest hour. I could not truthfully tell you whether I stood in Heaven or on earth at that moment.”
“I offered Asmath her choice of jewels and gave her a golden chalice, but she refused them all. She told me she was full of gifts and bracelets and not interested in her own enrichment, but only at what service she might do for her lady. I found her more graceful for her refusal of the riches I offered but insisted she take something. After a moment, she chose a large old, jeweled ring. I cannot say why, nor can I tell you where it was from, but it was her choice, and I left her to it. Then, with my gift in her hand, she stood and went back the way she had come.”
“For me, what can I say? Light and life filled me. The wicked spears piercing me an hour before no longer caused me pain, and the fires consuming me burned down to a comforting and warm blaze. Joy lit my darkness, and I happily returned to my comrades at the feast. All around me, they drank and joked, enjoying the company of one another, and celebrating my return. Overcome with my own happiness, I distributed gifts amongst those gathered. Our celebration increased, and for the first time in recent memory, I truly enjoyed myself.”