A Woman Scorned (CH 39)
The Knight in the Panther Skin, Book One: Avtandil's Quest
“I followed, afraid of what I might find until I saw Nestan. Relief flooded every fiber of my being at seeing she was safe, but her light did not melt my heart as it had before. She was no longer a full moon to shine on me. Instead, her eyes were darkened with rage, and she indicated I should seat myself far from her, unlike when we last met.”
“The veils I gave her were carelessly draped about her head and shoulders, and while she wore the same radiant green silks as when I first saw her, they were stained with tears. Her face was lit with lightning instead of the sun I had come to love, flashing dangerously when she looked at me. The maiden I hoped to meet had become a panther, perched on the edge of a rock and ready to strike.”
“Her brows furrowed, and she stared me down with barely contained fury. Her voice stung like whips from a nettle when she spoke, striking me to the core of my being. ‘I marvel at the audacity you show to dare come before me. You are forsworn, a fickle and faithless breaker of oaths. Your words are like smoke, but the highest in Heaven will reward you justly for the sins you visited upon me!’”
“What she said left me lost as a puppy before an angry master. Her anger was visible and palpable to me, hitting me like a fist, but I had no idea what I did or how to make amends for it. Instead, I pleaded with her. ‘How can I answer if I am unaware of the crime you accuse me of? What did I do other than to be senseless and pale at the absence of you from my life? Where have I sinned against you?’”
“Yet, as every man knows, a woman aflame rarely hears reason, particularly from the man who invited her ire. She would not listen. Instead, she drove the point of her words deeper into my soul. ‘What can I say to one as false and treacherous as you? I am a fool to let myself be tricked by a man with no honor! You made me no better than a camp girl, swooning at your mighty arms while your tongue curried favor and spewed lies to ill ends. I burn with flame at the injustice you did to me!’”
“‘You knew my father intended to bring the son of Khvarazmsha to wed me and did nothing! Instead, you sat with them as a counselor and gave assent to this treachery! You cast aside the bindings of the oath you swore to me like some fool of a soldier with a village maid! I beg God to help me visit ruin upon you for the cunning you deceived me with so I can destroy you and all you love!’”
“Then she began shouting at me, and a thousand tears streamed down the rose of her cheeks. I felt my heart turning to stone so I might protect me from further hurt, but she finished me off before it was fully hardened. ‘Remember when you sighed and swooned over me? Did you forget how your eyes bathed the fields of India with tears?’”
“‘I have not forgotten! The finest physicians and surgeons brought medicines from across the entire Kingdom to revive you. Yet, you are no different than any other man. Your falsehood will be remembered forever, no differently than Eve’s betrayal Adam and mankind. You are filth before me, and since you denied me, I also renounce you. Now, let us learn who will be more hurt between us when I finish with you!’”
“Her blow left my sword arm weak as that of a child holding a toy. I had no defense from the cuts she laid on me, and I understood then why sages say hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. But she was not done. Her fire was far from spent.”
“Like Achilles dragging the body of Hector, my death would not satisfy her. She continued piercing my ruined heart until no more than a shadow remained of me. ‘You made a grave error in betraying me. Like the lie of your words, you will be judged and punished. So long as I live, I swear by God, you will not find a home here.’”
“‘I will rule beside whoever rules! Wherever you go, you will find no other like me. No matter how much you reach your hands up and beg to Heaven, they will be left empty! If by some chance you are too cowardly to leave and choose to stay, I will watch the soul separated from your body.’”
“My spirit wilted as her tongue flayed the skin from me. Better I stood against an endless legion of heroes than suffer such agony. Had Ramaz and his armies faced her wrath, I am certain there would not be a blade of grass left standing in all Khataeti.”
“But there was truth to what she said, no different than there are needles in every haystack for the men willing to find them. She did not discard me out of hand, but instead believed I willingly turned her over to wed to the son of Khvarazmsha. Knowing this, hope revived a few threads of my heart. I found enough power in myself to look once more on the light of her whom I loved above all else in the world.”
“Though Fate has often laid her hands on me to drain the blood of my life and take my breath, this was not to be her day. Do you not wonder how I survived the lance of words so artfully thrown into me? I tell you truthfully, it was faith alone which enabled me to hold my head up.”
“Her Koran lay open on the table next to her. I walked over and placed my hand on the pages as I spoke. ‘I lack the means to say how you have burned me today. In truth, the sun sets upon my soul, and my spirit departs. Though, as you stopped short of slaying me outright, I will give you an answer.’”
“With my hand still on the Holy Book, I continued speaking. ‘If what I say to you is false or laced with cunning, I beg God to bring the skies down on me. I ask to spend my days in ruin and woe, with all the lights of Heaven turned against me. Yet, if you consider me worthy of judgment, hear my words, for I did nothing to visit this harm or hurt on you.’”
“Nestan looked at where I rested my hand, lifting her eyes to mine. When I finished, she spoke shortly, still questioning me and my intent. ‘If this is true, tell me why I am led to believe this falsehood? Why would you forsake me to another?’”
“Like a soldier left for dead, I bound and stitched my own wounds, giving her what she asked of me. ‘The arrangement with the son of Khvarazmsha is not my doing. Your mother and father summoned me to court at dawn. They were in counsel with three advisors and asked me to sit with them. Yet, it became clear to me they already decided to appoint him as your husband. There was nothing for me to oppose, for no man can stop the will of Pharsidan. I would have been a fool for my pains and was forced to agree with them. What else could I do? I fortified my heart, not knowing how I might survive if you were lost to me.’”
“‘My love for you and yours towards me is still unknown to the King and Queen. In their minds, they did what is best for the Kingdom, for they do not realize I will not leave it masterless. I cannot say who is wrong or right in this, but I alone am the owner of India. No other man has any right than me. While I have not met this Prince who comes here, I will never hand the rule of my country to him or Persia. Yet, I am unable to change the minds of our rulers and have found no way to undo what they have decreed.’”